On my eldest daughter when she was a 6 year-old kid. We were having our meals at one of the KFC outlets in a shopping mall, facing the main road. She pestered my wife to buy her a belt. My wife explained that belts were meant for boys and not girls. Looking out acoss the road, she spotted a lady waiting for public transport. She said, "mummy, that big sister is wearing a belt, can you explain?" My wife told her that only adults wore belts
and promised to buy her one when she grew up. She replied that when she grew up, she should be able to buy one herself and she can even afford to buy us one. She
complained that her mum was talking about the future and not the present.

After our meals, we went shopping. She kept running around. My wife told her that if she misbehaved, she will call in the police to catch her. Instant reply from her, "If I am apprehended by the police, how many daughters are you left with?"

Nowadays, children are smarter than parents. You threatened them with police, they frightened you with simple mathematical symbols ..... the minus sign.

Standing two arms length away from me on the MRT train was a lady in her late thirties. Though not convincingly pretty compared to those around,
somehow I was captivated by her.

I started to look hard at her side face. Not feeling comfortable with the nature of stares, she showed signs of uneasiness, giving me a quick
glance through the corners of her eyes and fidgeting most of the times. Sizing her up to be the shy type , I changed tactics. I would turn my head s..l..o..w..l..y, sweeping across her face with my eyes , to and fro. She noticed what was going on but at least it was within her comfort zone. These went on for quite some times. Further down the stations, a young and beautiful lady boarded the train, standing next to me. On the contrary, she was an exhibitionist. Like a model, I was fascinated by her poses. The older lady looked in our directions, bowed her head and stared blankly onto the floor board. Her body language told me that she felt neglected and that I was a fickle-minded person. To ensure her of my truthfulness, I erased all images captured on the young lady from my eyes and refocussed my thoughts on her. Giving full attentions, this time I became bolder by looking straight into her eyes. She lifted her face a little and adjusted her posture to face me. At last, she was giving me the honour, with her blessings, to admire what I deemed was beautiful.

Good times did not last long. Soon, it was time for her to alight. Looking directly into my eyes for the first time, she presented me with a smile.....smile of appreciation that I have chosen her over a much younger and prettier lady. Nodding my head with a smile. I just wanted to tell
her.....'you're just beautiful, thank you'.

Once, during my schooling days, I was going to my classmate's house which was within walking
distance. To save up on time and energy, I opted for short-cuts. I entered a stretch of sandy path which was quite deserted in the afternoon.

Everything went fine until I saw a dog walking towards me from the opposite direction. From a distance, I started to stare at him. He
reciprocated by doing the same to me. I kept
staring at him without lifting my sight off him. So was he. As we passed by each other, I turned my head around to look at him. Ridiculous! he
followed suit, turning his head around while pacing slowly forward. I told myself , "no, no, no, as a human being, I won't allow a dog to
stare at me, to bully me. I am going to teach this dog a lesson. I'm going to use the stoop-down-pick-a-rock tactics to frighten him." And that was exactly what I did.

The action taken by me proved effective. 'He' started running ... at least from
the dog's point of view. What happened? The 'He' referred to myself. The dog turned around and chased me. Throwing the stone aside and not at the dog, I just ran all the way. For how long he chased me, I didn't know. I didn't dare to look
back. Maybe that was precisely what the dog wanted to tell me, "Don't stare at me!"

By and large, women are more sensitive and hence more suspicious of what is happening around them.
Some years back, my former colleagues organised an outing. Activities included bowling, dinner and disco dancing. I requested for karaoke. They obliged, karaoke was an additional item.

We started off with bowlings. Most of us were beginners. Ladies' colleagues throwing balls with both hands, rolling slowly forward... hit some pins and started falling in slow motions. Wrong tactics of throwing balls...from a height, hit the floor with a bang and into the drain. Games of the day were funs and not rules. Our average score? 250 to 300 ! I mean, needed another 250 pins
to reach 300, the perfect score.
For dinner, we have steam-boats. Lots of uncook dishes were available. Prawns, beefs, slices of fish, fishballs, squids, clayfishes,cockles...etc. We would place the prawns and whatever we liked onto a scoop individually and put it into a pot of boiling water which was placed in the centre of the table. For cockles, I would like to eat it raw instead of cooked.

Next item? Karaoke, of course ! Crooned my ways through the night with whatever vibration cords provided by mother nature. Colleagues applauded and my singings praised. But, actually they were just encouraging me as my singings got out of
tunes. Remember games of the day? 'Have funs and not rules.'

The moment we entered the disco, everybody were at the dance floor except me. As a guy who did not like to sway my hips, I found it more enjoyable watching. With beers on hands and legs tapping to the tempo, I enjoyed every bits of it.Reached home at the wee hours. Took off everything, jumped into bed. Woke up next day with hangovers and with barrage of questions from wife.
Wife : “Where were you actually, last night?”
Me : “bowling, dinner, karaoke and disco.”
Wife : “how come there were bloods on your shirt?”
Me : “I did not injured myself, what blood?'
Wife : “ I don't kno...w.” (angry)
Me : “ oh yes, for dinner, I ate raw cockles, I must have got the blood stain from it”
Wife : “ I don't kno...w, only you yourself knew what you have committed last night.”

Now... , it dawned upon me that she suspected me of having a jolly good times with ladies last night, a virgin, maybe. I was dumbfounded. Could not decide whether to laugh or to get angry. I told her, “take a good look at your husband.
Hoping for a virgin to visit me in my dreams is already hard, enjoying with one physically is harder that the 'hardest' words you can find in a dictionary.”

With that, I headed back to bed. Hugging tightly onto my bolster, I went into dreamland, in search of ......

Women...grr...grrrrr...grrrrrrrrrr.

At my workplace, heard a lady colleague saying that she could not sleep. Taught her a trick or two to overcome the problem. I told her :- “ If you want to have a good night sleep, free your mind of all thoughts. Counting sheeps jumping over the fence is a thing of the past. Never think of a
tall and handsome guy, by doing so, you will definitely get more excited and maybe some oohs and aahs will be coming out from your room. How to sleep? Solution? Well...just think of me and no one else! The moment my face appears, you will start complaining, 'henry so ugly, thinking of him is just a waste of my time, might as well get some sleep'. There you are, you will be sleeping like
a log in no time – thanks to me.'”

Though I poked fun on myself, it was for a worthy cause. I wanted to drive home the point that we should relax ourselves, both mentally and physically. Any thoughts that stimulate excitement or unhappiness will result in sleepless nights.
I , personally have gone through all these
torments. With problems on hand, I would wake up automatically in the middle of the nights as though a timer had been etched into my mind. Going through my problems, my body became stiffed and
started trembling with fears. These went on for a few months. I was totally stressed out. I started to communicate with my inner-self, “here I am , trying to find a solution to these problems, now, what?, pondering over the problems nights after nights and it came to noughts, with whole body shivering.” I pacified myself to cool down and leave it to mother nature. I managed to convince myself after a tough fight. Nowadays, whatever happens, be it personal or work-related, no matter how serious it might be, I will be able to give myself a decent sleep. Not because I am an irresponsible person but I have learned to impose self-control over my emotional feelings as far as sleep is concern.

To combat insomnia or stress, the battle is only a matter of you against yourself. Let's overcome it and have a gooooooood sleep.
Goodnight !

With referral from the clinical doctor, my mom was admitted to Hospital for five days observation . Earlier in the day, she couldn’t stand on her feet after urinating. The test results that came in day after day were encouraging. That left her with the last medical report, X –ray. As the report came in, we were told that both her kidneys have shrunk incredibly. On the fifth day, she was transferred to another General Hospital

We were given two options by the Doctor. One was for my mom to undergo kidney dialysis. From the Doctor’s professional point of view, it was not advisable because of my mom’s age at seventy-six. Her heart might not be able to withstand it and furthermore, it would only prolong her life for a mere few months at most. Second option was for her to survive just on medication. After discussion
with my siblings, weighing the pros and cons, we chose the second option – medication. Nobody would like to stay in the hospital, so was my mom. After one week, we took her home. On the second day, she complained of chest pain and she was readmitted to hospital.

Everything went on fine for the next few days except for her kidneys. Then, her conditions deteriorated. One of her eyes shut and she couldn’t talk. Her body was itched all over and she couldn’t scratch properly with her hands jerking. The purpose of kidney dialysis was to remove all unwanted waste products from the blood and to maintain the blood pressure. Because my mom was just on medication, the waste products from the blood was not expelled but circulated over and over again. That caused her body to be itched and her hands jerked. As her son, it was my duty to do the scratching for her. Days went by. Received
news that my mom was placed under DIL (dangerously ill list) as she was in a coma. We were told to be mentally prepared by the doctor as she was given
forty-eight hours to live. My siblings and I took turns to be by her side twenty-four hours a day. Sitting by her side, holding her weak, fragile hand … the hand that fed me, bathed me was really painful. My eyes welled up, followed by big teardrops streaming down my cheeks. I bowed my head, hoping some kind of God of whatever faith would appear before me. I would kneel before "Him", begging "Him" to save my mom. I would open my heart and accept "Him" as my
saviour and as my God. It was only the naive side of me. Forty-eight hours have gone by, nothing happened. According to the nurses-in-attendance, from their experiences and observations, given these kind of low blood pressure, my mom should have left this world. Seemed like she had some unfulfilled wishes or simply waiting for someone to turn up. All family members have visited her
including in-laws. Then, it dawned upon my sister the incidence regarding the "gold bracelet". My eldest brother had known his wife since they were
youngsters. They worked together, played together and even lived together. One day, he told my mom he was finally getting married. My mom was very happy, bought a gold bracelet, intended to present it to my sis-in-law on her wedding
day and that was when my sis-in-law would offer a cup of tea to my mom. But, for reasons unknown to us, my brother did not went through any wedding ceremony, no wedding celebration…nothing. And during all these years, my sis-in-law addressed
my mom as auntie. This incidence was made known to my brother. On that night, my sister brought the gold bracelet to hospital. Putting it onto the palm of my mom and grabbing it with her hand, my sister told my sis-in-law, "now, I represent
mom and hand over the gold bracelet to you". After receiving the gold bracelet, with a cup of tea on hand, my sis-in-law said " mom, please accept and drink this cup of tea". My sister took the cup and wetted my mom’s lips with some tea. At that very moment, my mom murmured something. Though inaudible … she responded! Was that her unfulfilled wishes? Handling over the gold bracelet and hearing my sis-in-law addressing her as ‘mom’ for the first time? We were all overjoyed. The next day, I visited her with my wife. My wife started to massage her right hand. She responded by lifting her left hand and said "it’s ok, it’s enough". She regained consciousness and was able to talk and move, though restricted.

After a few weeks, she was transferred to a Hospice , a hospital for the terminally ill. We visited her on a regular basis. On December 11th
2003, at 0340hrs, received a call from my nephew that mom was having difficulties in breathing and hospital staff requested our presence. All of us were there by 0410hrs. At 0438 hrs, my mom gave out a deep sigh. Sigh of happiness that all her children were there to see her? Sigh of
contentment that all her children have grown up? It was not to be, in fact she was mustering all her strength to take in her last breath of earthly air. I was orphaned from that very moment. My
world collapsed. My mind went wild with memories, to the day when I was a young boy. I recalled the time she fetched me to and from school, bought me
ice-creams, sweets, dressed me, how she scolded and caned me for being naughty. Now I realized that all these caning were parts and parcels of a mother’s good intentions. I told myself that I should have treated her even better when she was around. Why must human be such that when we
possessed something, we do not know how to treasure it, only to regret when we loss them. I came to terms with myself. This is what life is all about. Wherever my mom might be now, she will
have all my blessings.
'In memory of my beloved Mom'
Born : 1928
Departed 11th December 2003